September was not what I hoped but it could have been a whole lot worse!
So I’ve been stuck at home most of this month and really frustrated with it. I’ve actually been using a walker to get around my place. It’s only been the past 7-10 days that I’ve been able to take steps on own without it supporting me.
I struggled at lot mentally this month but also learned a lot and developed my mindset so much! Which realistically is going to be the thing that makes this all work for me. The mindset!
I’ve developed a really strong handle on my self talk. I used to get down on my self, I’ve been my own worst enemy. No one has called me fat since I was in Jr. high probably, but the I’d talk to myself in my head has been ruthless till recently.
Through talking to a counsellor I’ve learned that I thought that was the only way to make myself lose weight. Despite the years of contrary evidence. I’ve learned to have grace for myself but it took me a long time to realize that grace wasn’t ’letting myself off easy’ or anything like that. I’ve been working on that for a while now but this month made me really aware of how well I’m doing with it.
I’ve learned that some time a the status quo is pretty darn good! In the past I would have been frustrated about not being able to make progress. I would have thrown everything out the window, binged on food to calm my frustration & stress and gained a bunch of weight back
I lost a couple pounds this month and hit -40 pounds. After that goal, I definitely took my foot off the gas for the rest of the month. I have ordered in more than I ‘should’ have, but I’ve pretty much maintained my weight. Which is amazing for me not trying for three weeks. I’ve had some other mind shifts but this already seems too long.
Over this long weekend, I’ve relaxed a ton and not done much physically other than using the walker to get down and back from my car a couple times. I think it’s been good for me though. Today I was walking around my place without the walker. Still fairly small steps but all under my own power which made me feel great!
I think things are looking up for October!